NFL Coaches Divisional Playoff tactics reinterpreted in the context of a Jeopardy! match

I wrote this during the week following the NFL’s Divisional Playoffs, but due to some extenuating circumstances (getting rejected by McSweeney’s), couldn’t get it up until now. From Mike McCarthy’s ‘close but no cigar’ game to Bruce Arians’ aggressive crunch time calls to Andy Reid’s perpetually inexplicable clock management failure, there was a lot of…